


in which tina formally invites you all to meet her android girlfriend, so please, for the love of god, don't eff this up

by MissDinahDarling



Series: hashtag squad goals [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bromance, Drunken Shenanigans, Epic Friendship, F/F, Fluff, Gavin Reed Redemption, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Gen, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Mom Friend Connor, Mood Indicator Android LEDs (Detroit: Become Human), Past Abuse, Platonic Relationships, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Chris Miller, Protective Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Gavin Reed, Sassy Androids, Soft Gavin Reed, Squad Dad Chris Miller, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 02:10:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17972477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissDinahDarling/pseuds/MissDinahDarling
Summary: “Attention everyone, please form an orderly queue, you’re about to meet my girlfriend, so best behaviour or I’ll shoot you in the dick,” Tina announced to the crowd.Said crowd consisted of two friends who were overly invested in this meeting to a point that it made Tina anxious, an android who didn’t understand why they needed to form a queue, and a lieutenant who really, really did not want to be here, like stop involving him? He isn’t lonely? It’s a choice he consciously makes, so please, please, please let him go and leave him alone?





	in which tina formally invites you all to meet her android girlfriend, so please, for the love of god, don't eff this up

**THE DETROIT POLICE DEPARTMENT**  
**9.12AM**

“So, is Shannon coming to Collins’ birthday party tonight?” Chris asked, nudging Tina with his hip.

They, along with Gavin, had originally planned on taking a short fifteen-minute coffee break, but it had quickly spiralled into a _thirty_ -minute coffee break as someone from the graveyard shift had left the television on a channel airing continuous reruns of the Real House Androids of LA, and now they were all invested.

“What?” Tina asked blankly, her eyes glazing over as they watched Lola burst in on André and Marcie making out in Lola’s bedroom.

“Is robo-chick making an appearance at Collins’ thing tonight?” Gavin repeated on Chris’ behalf, snorting when Lola threw her engagement ring in André’s face. “Also, who throws a party on a goddamn weekday? We all have work tomorrow, the man didn’t think this through, fuck.”

“It’s one of those rare days where _everyone_ is in for once,” Tina said, wincing when André picked the ring up and tossed it off the balcony, “and she might be – what’s it to you?”

“It’ll be the first time we hang out with her outside of work – just wanted to know if I should put on my fancy shirt or not,” Chris said, shaking his head when André then accused Lola of cheating on him with his sister Lorelai. “This show is a mess – not even Kate likes this crap and she lives for reality TV.”

“That’s what makes it so good,” Tina argued, flinging a hand out in front of her, “the fake acting is hilarious – also, I thought all your shirts were fancy shirts.”

“Yeah, but his fancy, _fancy_ shirt is his purple one with velvet shit all over it,” Gavin explained, rolling his eyes when Lorelai stormed into the room, her blonde hair flying behind her dramatically. She pushed André out of the way and began screaming at Marcie.

God, he hated reality television, but damn did it make him feel good about his own life sometimes.

“How do you know that?” Chris demanded, bewildered.

“How do you know this?” Tina asked, concerned.

Gavin snorted.

“I notice shit,” he replied dismissively, glancing at them from the corner of his eye knowingly.

“Ri-ight,” Chris drawled, a tad unnerved, “so, are you bringing Shannon along?”

“Yeah, but I’m kinda nervous about you meeting her,” Tina admitted, her eyes widening when Lorelai slapped Marcie in the face with her Gucci purse, “I mean, you both’ve talked to her, but you haven’t really _talked_ to her, you know? Like, outside of work, beyond saying ‘hey’ and ‘bye’? And I get that Gavin’s spoken to her, but that was only once and he just talked shit about my Furby collection, so you get it, right? Why I’m feeling apprehensive about you guys meeting her properly?”

Marcie retaliated by picking a chair up and chasing Lorelai out of the bedroom.

“Okay, I’m going to go with ‘why’ anyway?” Gavin asked, raising his brows at her, oddly offended as he and Shannon had a _great_ conversation about how disturbing Tina’s collection of Furbies was. They didn’t really get the chance to talk about anything else before Tina whisked him away, but that wasn’t the point.

Tina scoffed. “Because I don’t trust you to behave yourself,” she said, tearing her gaze from the television to glare at him, “last time, you only spoke to her for all of five minutes; it didn’t really give you the time to fuck shit up _and_ you were sober! Remember my last girlfriend, Angie? You got Chris’ wife to flirt with her to see how faithful she was!”

Chris inwardly winced – Kate had a lot of fun joining in with Gavin’s shenanigans until she realised how deeply hurt Tina had felt in response. She then bought the officer two dozen O'Mansley Donuts as an apology. They had gotten over the incident quickly and now had a _thing_ where they just sent each other photos of donuts on a daily basis.

Thinking about it, he should probably invite Kate along the next time they went out.

“You told me she admitted to cheating in the past – it was my goddamn duty to make sure she wouldn’t do it again,” Gavin argued, scowling at the screen when André suggested couple’s therapy to Lola _and Lola accepted_! He knew he shouldn’t be so surprised, but he hated it when shows pulled this kinda crap and made money from it. If Lola had half a brain, she’d stab André with a fork and run screaming into the sunset.

Preferably _with_ Lorelai and Marcie.

“Oh please!” Tina sneered, outraged, “you only did it because you couldn’t resist stirring up shit!”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I did it for yo— _oh_ , what the fuck?” Gavin cried out, his irritation levels peaking when the television turned black. He snapped his head around and instantly blanched when he saw Fowler standing behind them, coffee cup in one hand, remote control in the other, and disapproving glare in place.

“Tell me,” Fowler began, voice deceptively calm, “what do I hire you for?”

“To do our jobs, sir,” Chris answered immediately. He quickly stood at attention – an automatic reaction to seeing his disgruntled superior officer.

“And what are your jobs?” Fowler asked, raising a brow as his cup slowly began to concave under his crushing grip.

“To… solve crimes?” Tina replied hesitantly.

“Oh? And is this a crime scene?” Fowler persisted, gesturing to the room with his hands.

“No, but it’s about to be,” Gavin mocked under his breath, wincing when Fowler shot him an icy glare.

“Good deductive work,” he praised flatly, “now unless you three want to leave this bullpen in body bags, crimes I surely will be acquitted for, I suggest you return to your desks and do the goddamn job _I pay you all for_!”

Chris left immediately, Tina hot on his heels.

Gavin shrugged. “Technically, _you_ don’t pay us,” he quipped, sauntering out of the room before Fowler could follow through with his threat. He absently heard the captain growl at him, but Gavin wisely chose to keep quiet. He had already used up three of his designated shitty comments and his shift had only started an hour ago.

Gavin knew when to quit whilst he was ahead – most days.

As he made his way back to his desk, Gavin caught a blur of purple in the corner of his eye – without breaking his stride, he changed his trajectory and headed towards Connor’s desk. Today, the android was wearing a lilac jumper with a grey shirt underneath – Gavin wanted to know who Connor’s fashion inspiration was and shoot them, ‘cause who the hell was gonna take Connor seriously when he dressed like a damn Care Bear?

“Hey Connor, I need a favour,” Gavin announced when he reached the android, rapping on his desk as if it were a door. Connor looked up at him, intrigue lighting up his eyes.

“Connor, say no,” Hank instructed, not bothering to drag his gaze away from his screen.

“Anderson, fuck off,” Gavin sniped back, flipping the man off. He rocked on his heels as he turned back to Connor with a grin, “listen, I need you to do something for me.”

“Cat update,” Connor said, glancing up at the detective with an imploring smile.

“The fuck? I gave you one last night!” he snapped in disbelief, throwing his hands up.

“Cat update please?” Connor persisted, staring up at Gavin without blinking. He knew it unnerved Gavin when he didn’t blink, and the bastard always resorted to such dirty tricks when he really wanted something from him.

“Are you fucking serious?” Gavin asked flatly, his body deflating with defeat.

“Cat. Update. Please,” Connor repeated, flashing Hank a smile when the man chuckled under his breath.

“Jesus, fine,” Gavin grumbled, frustrated as he pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. He unlocked it and Connor watched patiently as the detective flicked through his device until he landed on what he was looking for. He shoved the phone into Connor’s face with a growl; on the screen was Coffee Bean, perched atop a rather elaborate cat tree. With multiple platforms, tunnels and stairs, it looked like a veritable heaven for any self-respecting feline. He grinned as he scanned Coffee Bean’s face – she looked rather proud with herself as she sat on the first platform on the structure.

“Here, she slept all through the night for once and finally managed to climb the first tier of the cat tree this morning,” Gavin reported gruffly, his eyes flicking around the bullpen to scope out potential eavesdroppers, “she also managed to eat from her bowl without assistance.”

Connor’s eyes shined brightly as his mind categorised and registered each new milestone.

“If you let me visit her, I’ll do your favour,” Connor suggested slyly.

“Fuck off, I don’t need your help that much,” Gavin replied, locking his phone and slipping it back into his jacket. Connor straightened up, instantly concerned, as the detective returned to his desk without looking back at him once.

“Don’t do it kid,” Hank warned under his breath.

Connor’s fingers twitched; he knew he should listen to Hank, but he _was_ painfully curious and —

GAVIN REED: BROMANTIC PARTNER 

— he _was_ somewhat obligated.

“Sorry Hank,” he murmured, standing up to approach Gavin with a beseeching smile. Hank scoffed at him in return, shaking his head with disapproval. He absently heard the lieutenant mutter about cults getting their claws in his android, but Connor paid him no mind. “Detective Reed, please tell me how I can help.”

Gavin grinned up at him smugly.

“I need you to help me suss out Shannon,” he said, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his legs under his desk. Gavin placed his hands behind his head as he regarded the android standing next to him. “You’re an android, so you can scan for when people are lying, right? Well, when we’re out with Shannon, I need you to make sure she’s legit when I ask her shit, okay? Chris is too nice to help me out, says Tina’s relationship is none of my business, like fuck off _dad_ , as if you’re any better than me when you want to interrogate her just as much as I do, _hypocrite_!”

“Surely you ought to trust Tina’s judgement when choosing a significant other? She seems to have a good head on her shoulders, despite her habit of letting her emotions rule her logical choices, I feel li—”

“Exactly!” Gavin interjected, pointing at Connor with the air of a man who just cracked a case, “she falls too easily for girls and I’ve seen her get fucked over too many times to accept Shannon just because she ‘makes Tina happy’. Consider it a vetting process or whatever.”

“I… see,” Connor hesitantly replied, “this seems to be a rather well-used trope in romantic comedies. I think I understand what I must do as her friend – however, as I _am_ her friend, surely, I should step aside and keep out of her relationship? It isn’t my business, after all.”

Gavin shook his head. “You sad, sad baby deer,” he lamented, “you want Tina to be happy right? To make sure she isn’t be used or being taking advantage of? I mean, as a squad member, it’s kinda obligatory – shit, we should have contracts written up, make this fucking official.” Gavin’s gaze slipped past Connor’s face as he contemplated suggesting the idea to Tina and Chris.

Chris would most definitely draw up a contract if he asked – but then Gavin would also be contractually obliged to pull his weight and… urgh, never mind. His attention snapped back to Connor when the android cleared his throat, arching a brow at the detective with a thin smile.

“I am aware that you are trying to emotionally manipulate me,” Connor informed him, unimpressed, “I am familiar with such tactics and I have seen you deploy such tricks in person, remember?”

Gavin shot him a roguish smile. “Is it working?” he asked.

“I’m frustrated to admit it, but yes,” Connor sighed, body deflating, “when I became deviant, I found myself overwhelmed with emotions. Typically, I can recalibrate my central processing unit to better understand and grapple any new feelings I come across, but no matter what I do, I still appear to be easily susceptible to guilt-trips.”

“No shit?” Gavin asked, intrigued.

Connor frowned at him. “It’s highly inconvenient, please restrain yourself from using them against me in future,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Gavin warned him with a shrug.

“I understand,” Connor nodded, “but I thought I’d make the suggestion nonetheless.”

Gavin barked out a laugh. “So, will you help me out?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest, cocking his head to the side.

Connor contemplated him.

“There is a 46% chance this could go wrong should I assist you in scanning her for deceit,” he admitted, “also, a 52% chance of your friendship ending with Tina if it does go wrong.”

“I like those odds,” Gavin said firmly, “let’s do this shit.”

Blinking, the android shifted his weight and fingered the coin in his pocket. “It feels invasive,” he admitted, “and rather childish, but I will help you.” Gavin shot a fist in the air, a sign of victory and satisfaction. Connor arched a brow at him. “However, the moment Tina’s vitals indicate to me that our behaviour towards Shannon is crossing a line, I will cease in helping you. Understood?”

Gavin rolled his eyes, “whatever, yes, sure,” he threw the words out with a noncommittal shrug, “I owe you one.”

Connor inwardly snorted and returned to his station – Hank watched him with a deep frown, his blue eyes focused on Gavin with clear disapproval. His ire was mostly for show, however, as Connor knew that the lieutenant was somewhat endeared by the three humans Connor had befriended, he just simply refused to admit it. The android knew the man was stubborn, but he wished he wasn’t _this_ stubborn.

Connor approached Hank and shrugged. “He’s my friend,” he explained lamely.

“I can’t believe he’s wrapped you around his damn finger that easily,” Hank sighed with a shake of his head.

“I like to let him believe that he has, but in reality, I am slowly accumulating a number of favours that will come in handy at some point in the future,” Connor replied, leaning against Hank’s desk with a smug smile.

“And how many favours does he owe you so far?” Hank asked, leaning back in his chair to regard Connor with a knowing grin.

“About twenty-seven,” Connor replied, puffing his chest out with pride.

Hank whistled lowly, impressed. “And what are you saving them for?” he asked, his words tinged with suspicion.

Connor grinned. “I want to see Coffee Bean,” he confessed to the lieutenant, “also, I want to have a go on his motorbike – I feel like that would use up most of my favours though.”

“Over my dead body will you touch Reed’s death-mobile,” Hank informed him flatly.

“Interesting,” Connor noted, returning to his desk with a skip in his step, “Gavin told me the same thing.” He dropped into his seat with a wink, “guess that means you two have something in common.”

“Stop trying to make us friends Connor, it ain’t happening,” Hank ordered, reaching to grab a case file from his desk with a dismissive sniff, “wouldn’t play nice with that prick if he was the last guy on earth.”

“Oh well,” Connor sighed, absently tapping through his documents on his computer, “I just thought that, you know, with my blossoming friendship with the ‘squad’, I thought it would be nice if you got involved – it would make me happy, after all.”

“Connor,” Hank said sternly, the warning loud and clear, “what have I said about guilt-trips.”

“I can only make one per week,” Connor replied dutifully, ducking his head slightly.

“Exactly – knock it off, this is fifth one _this_ week and it’s only goddamn _Tuesday_!”

“Right, sorry Hank.”

* * *

**THE DETROIT POLICE DEPARTMENT  
** **2.47PM**

“Hey Bambi, you busy?” Tina called out as she entered the breakroom.

Connor had been in the middle of making Hank’s coffee when he was ambushed. Though he possessed free-will, he always offered to carry out little tasks such as fetching drinks for his friend – it made Connor feel like he was repaying Hank for everything the man had done, and continued to do, for him.

The fact that it also allowed him to keep track of Hank’s sugar intake was just an extra bonus.

“Didn’t Captain Fowler already berate you this morning for wasting time in here?” he asked, peering past her to see that Fowler was in his office, preoccupied with a phone call.

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “but he’s busy on the phone. I reckon I have a good twenty minutes before he figures out that I’m not at my desk again.”

“You’re a woman who thrives off danger,” Connor noted with a warm smile.

“I live for it,” Tina confirmed, throwing him a wink.

Connor paused stirring Hank’s coffee and turned away from the counter to give Tina his full attention. The officer looked perfectly calm, but underneath, he could sense a thrumming ripple of anxiety.

“Do you need me for something?” he asked carefully, clasping his hands behind his back.

Tina jumped lightly on the balls of her feet before she quickly threw a glance over her shoulder – whatever she saw in the bullpen calmed her nerves somewhat, as she inched closer to Connor with a grim look in her eye.

“I need you to keep an eye on Gavin and Chris tonight,” she explained, chewing her lip slightly, “when they meet Shannon – I need you to make sure they behave.”

Connor frowned, his LED spinning yellow once. “Surely they’ve met her before? They work together,” he pointed out, remembering multiple conversations he’s had with the ST300 model, _Shannon_ , himself. They were always short and based on polite small talk – how are you, how is your day, what weather we’re having – but they’ve always been civil. From what he’s seen, Gavin and Chris had similar discussions with her.

It was odd for Tina to feel anxious now.

“Yeah, but that’s just ‘work talk’,” she explained with a tight smile, “this is actual talk where they don’t have to worry about getting fired! And there’s alcohol involved! An-nd I know Gavin’s gonna try and scare Shannon off, granted, he probably has good intentions, but I really like her, and I don’t want anything to ruin this for me.” Tina’s cheeks were flushed as she panted lightly; her stress levels were peaking, and Connor restrained himself from pulling her into a hug.

Though Hank was somewhat free with his affection, he had helpfully informed Connor that there was a time and a place for hugs – the precinct was definitely _not_ the place, no matter what the time.

“Understood,” he said instead, “but why are you worried about _Chris_?”

“Because he’s even worse! At least I know what to expect from Gavin, but Chris? It’s like he turns into a completely different person! He starts interrogating people on a level that my mom would kill to reach! ‘So where did you come from, how did you do in school, what are your prospects?’, it’s terrible, I swear!” Tina insisted, managing to pull off a highly convincing imitation of Chris.

“I can see how that would be frustrating,” Connor admitted as he leaned against the counter, “but I still don’t understand how you think I can help. Gavin never listens to me unless cats are involved and Chris, whilst more amenable, would probably not appreciate my interference. It sounds as if they are only looking out for you and have your best interests in mind.”

“Only _I_ can have my best interests in mind,” Tina asserted strongly, “and I _love_ them, and I get where they’re coming from, but they just need to let me live my life!”

“I see,” Connor said slowly, the words coming out strained and tight, “Apologies if I’m straying towards personal territory, but I’m assuming you haven’t had the best history with dating women? If so, then surely it makes sense that they want to protect you.”

“So? That’s in the past! And besides, if you think my track record is bad, then Gavin’s will definitely make you cry! He literally has the worst taste in men—”

“I thought he used to harbour a crush on Hank?”

“—barring his crush on Lieutenant Anderson, obviously. Anyway, that friendship was pretty toxic, still is, so I’m kinda glad it went nowhere, but that’s not the point. What was my point? Oh! Gavin, the hypocrite, has dated shitty men, I have dated shitty women, but these are patterns we can break! And Shannon is my pattern-breaker, I know this!”

“Odd, I wasn't aware that you two were attracted to such volatile people,” Connor observed, tilting his head to the side.

Tina gasped.

“Wow,” she breathed, “that’s _such_ blatant homophobia, and quite frankly Connor? I’m a little disgusted with you right now.”

“I-I didn’t mean for it to come across like that, I was just, I didn't, I would never say such—”

“Ho-oly shit, I'm sorry, I’m teasing you,” Tina interrupted, grasping at Connor’s cheeks with a reassuring smile; his LED had blared red and she panicked, cursing herself for forgetting about Connor’s desperate desire to please the people he cared about and how easy it was to trigger his anxiety when expressing disappointment in him, “hot tip: don’t mention that shit to Gavin. He will shoot you.”

“I believe that,” Connor replied, calming down as Tina stroked his face with her thumbs.

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered, eyes drawn to Connor’s cheekbones with laser-focus, “I could cut myself on these things.”

“You really can’t,” Connor weakly argued, curling his hands around her wrists, “but I appreciate the compliment regardless.” He gently dragged her hands away from her face and Tina took them back with a bashful smile, nodding at him.

“So… will you help a gal out then? Keep an eye on Gavin and Chris?” she asked, shoving her hands in her pockets lest she failed at resisting temptation and began stroking Connor’s cheeks again.

“I will… _endeavour_ to do my best,” Connor replied carefully, accepting her mission with an inward wince.

Tina bounced slightly, throwing her arms around Connor with delight. After a guilt-ridden beat, Connor returned the gesture, patting her gently on the back. She squeezed him slightly, before releasing him to take a step back. He guessed hugs were okay in work after all – he’d have to inform Hank later.

The man owed him several hugs.

“You are the best Bambi, I swear!” Tina crowed, leaving the breakroom to return to her desk, her stride light-footed and bouncy.

Connor sighed, his conflicting missions causing static to ripple across his vision.

MISSION: ASSIST GAVIN REED

MISSION: ASSIST TINA CHEN

The confliction caused the components in his central processing unit to work over time, the electrical currents sparking sharply as each mission fought for the priority placement in his mind. Though Tina’s made more sense as a friend, Gavin’s could potentially lead to a better ending for the evening. He fingered the coin in his pocket as his vision grew blurry with static.

M̴I̷S̵S̸I̷O̴N̴: ̴ ̶A̷S̴S̷I̵S̸T̶ ̶G̶A̸V̵I̸N̸ ̸R̸E̵E̸D̸

M̸I̸S̶S̵I̴O̸N̶: ̸ ̴A̷S̸S̶I̸S̴T̷ ̵T̶I̴N̶A̴ ̵C̵H̴E̵N̸

M̵͈͔̦͂̓̀I̷͎͋̇͝S̷̮̗̯̥̆̀̌̚S̴̨̢͍̈́͌I̵̟̼͠O̷̘̮̗̥̿Ǹ̶̼̮̹͆͒: ̵̭͐̇͌ ̷̺͓̊̉A̴̡̖͍͉̎̍́̐S̵̟͖̑S̶̰̞̥̈́̆͆̎I̴̞͋S̸̝̋T̴͚͔̿͆͌͝ ̵̢͙̖̟̅Ḡ̸͙̲͓̏̕A̶̞͚̐͌̾V̵̹͓͚̍͠Ĩ̷̳͠N̷̨̠̺̂͐̔́ ̴̧̱̪̑̓͊̉R̶̨̰̥̕E̶̠̺͋͝E̷͎͉͊̃ͅḒ̷̺̣̲̊

M̴̛͚̦͐̈̑I̷̻̥̫̽S̴̜̒̚Ș̴̀͂͗̾Ḯ̵̛͙͂̓O̵̲͕̒͛N̶̦̖̎: ̸̹̼͉̫̓͗̅̀ ̶͔̬͂̾́͠A̸̘͂́͠S̷̟̦̓̂̅͊S̸͈͐I̷͍̅͛̕͝S̴̫͐͊͗͘T̵̛̲̤̔̎ͅ ̷̥̿̑́T̷̤̈́I̸̢͍͂͗N̸͍̦̫͇̉̊A̴̤͒̈ ̷̤̞̜̥͠C̴̤̞̄͑H̵̩̾̄͊͌Ę̸̦͎̆̔̔̑͜N̸̝̦̪̾

M̵̧̨̛̪̯͔̳̗͍̓͂̋Ḯ̴̫̲͎͍͉̲̗̑̅ͅŜ̴̢̧͇̦̱̤̫̘̩̹͉̳͔͉̰̳S̷̱̖̈́́̓̈̾̈́̾͘͠͠Ḯ̷̡̝̫̜̰͕̲̌̍͒̑͛̓͆́̃̊̆̽̕͝O̷̡͓͚̻̠̞͎̍̅̐͒͑̐N̴̡͔͎̻̦͕̭̪̞̦͐ͅ:̵̢̞̯̠̟̖̟̖͖̠͔̯̗̺̻̺̄͗̈́ ̵̧̧͍̝͓̜̠̥̥̳̬̆͆͋̈́̓̑̋̔̿͌͠A̵̲̼̺̙͙̰̣͐̍͑̈̔̈̍͐̄̀̊͘͘͝ͅS̷̡̡̨̛̪̖̻̩͉̍̉̆͌̇̌S̵̜̻̤̟͕͇̜̗̖͎̹͍̤̣̟̠͂̃̈́͐͛̃̆̽̓̔̋͊͠͝Ỉ̵̢͖̯̳̟͓̖̞̙̣̳̆̍̂̂͛̉̃̒͌̽Š̵̡̞̦̳̻̜̱̲͆͊͐̆́͝͠Ţ̵̼̬̤̻̝̝͖͓͂̾̒̅̓̕ ̷̡̬̳̝͕͇͕̫̥̤͓̫̬̀͒͒̔͘͜G̵͈̪̰̪̲͌̾̾̀̉͑̎̏̓͘͝Ą̶̳̠̝̲̖̣̣̩̫̗̥̓́̃̑͛́̋͘͝͠V̶̢̧̨̖̲̜͔̹͙̥͈̯̫͕͈̯̽̾̓̑I̸̡̙̩̖͍̤͍̗̥͗̅͑̈́̐͆̄̓̿͆͝Ņ̶̧̨̧̤͎͍̰̞̼̫̝̗̪͍͕̏͑̂̿̈́̔̈͌͋̍̎͘ ̴̡̧̢͓͉̗̮͓͖͇̮̯̐͊̐͝R̶̼̲͈̼̯̻̞̱̈́̂̀̓̋̔̊E̵̡̛͙̮͇͖̟̯̜̓̽͊̈́̒́͠Ę̴̧̡͇̫̗̥̙̟̭͖̲̼̼̞̑̈͊̐͂͊̇͒̍̀͆͑̇͋̆͝Ḓ̷̢̡̯̟͓̙̤͈͚͕̲̥́̓̔̎̍͐͂͠ͅ

M̶͊͌͆͗̒͋̌̾͜I̶̛͉̲͍͉̲̫̊̓̂̄̄̎̅͗̉͛͆̽̅̈͆̑̓̿̋͘͝S̸̼̭̣̮̩̄̃̆͌̀́̉̀̊̎̓̍̀͛̅̂̍̕͘S̶̗͚͉̘̥̭̞̮̔̆̌͌Į̶̢̛̛̱͓̯̣̜̤̖̲͚͙͎͍̎̄̄͒͐̈̉̏̍͝Ǫ̵̲̖̭̠̇͑̕N̸̢̗̙͓̟͚̅̐̔̿͑̇̊̓̊̾̽̏͘ͅ:̶̧̯̤̟̗̻̤̫̺̮͔̬̺̠̎̑̌͑͆̔̂̂͋̾̒̍̓̚͘͝ͅ ̶̧͍̓̓̏̑̊̽͋̎̋̈́̽͊̈́͝͠Ă̵̛̛͇͓̦͎̬͓̭̣̪͇͍͈̻̬̻̪̂̃̃͒́̄͛̐̍̇̑̚͝ͅŜ̶̗̫̺̟̮̪̯̐́͐̈̉̍̾̂̑̏̋͛̏͐̉̐͒̕͘S̷̛̬̦͗̃̈́̓̈̂̿̀̕͘Į̵̤̗̬̺̭̦̜͕͎͌̓̑͊̔̌̂̔̀̃́̄̒͊͝͝͝S̸̨͕̫̱̫͙̫̭̝̱͚̬̉͛̒̅̎̌̐͗̉͐̄̓̉̂̽̊̊͘͘̕͜T̶̢͚͎͉͈̫͉̘͖͈̞̫̖͌̆͆͝ ̶̨̧̢̡̛̲̰͔̱̖̼̗̙̰̤͎̘̞͒̑̒̃̇̐́̈́̓͌̽̍͝T̸̜̯̓͆͒̀̌͋̑̓̑͐̑̎͛͑̏̃̓Ǐ̵͙̘͙͍̝̞̬̥̹̭̻͖̠͎̤̫̓̽̿̊͗̿̂͐͘̕̚͜͝͠͠ͅN̴̹͖͈̭̎̽̽́̾̎̏Ǎ̶̢͎͇̩͈̟͍̝̺̟͎̺̯̙͈̫̰̼͙̹͑͑̈̇͌̋͐͋͂̃̾̈́́̈́̚̚͘͜͜͠͝͝͝ ̷̧̪̘͇̼̭̬͉̳̜̮̫͚͎͚̣̎́̑̉̓̈́̇̈́̈̊̋͌̐̑͊͒̔̅̎̂̈́̌͊ͅC̶̢̱͖̖̼̘͈̒̾͂̆̾̈́̈́̏̓̆͐́̚͝H̸̢̻͈͈̣̼͓̦̗̑͑̓̉̏E̶̡̢̛̛̳̝̩̒̄̀̅͋͊̿̽̊̓̉̾̓̈́̉͘͝N̵̨̛̘̪͓͙̦͔̥̣̈́̉̂̍̓̑͗̐͝

 Connor rubbed his temples – he wondered if this was how Hank felt whenever he suffered a headache.

“Connor! Where’s my damn coffee?”

Ah. Speak of the devil.

Connor forced a shutdown on the missions he had received and concentrated on the one task he could actually complete – he could revisit the other missions later. Scanning the drink, he felt a wave of relief that the temperature hadn’t dropped significantly. Picking up the mug, Connor felt satisfaction flood his sensors as he carried it back to the bullpen.

Despite being deviant, he still greatly enjoyed accomplishing his missions.

MISSION: SERVE HANK HIS COFFEE

* * *

**THE MISPLACED PIANO  
** **10.13PM**

“Why am I here?” Hank sighed, staring longingly at the exit.

“You have asked that question exactly seven times since we got here,” Connor reported, “and for the seventh time, I will answer: because Tina wanted you here.”

“But Collins has gone home – and it was his damn birthday!” Hank groused, glaring at the party-hats that everyone persisted in wearing – even Gavin was still wearing his.

Connor was wearing _two_.

“Collins was here for all of nine seconds before his wife called him to inform him that their son’s girlfriend was going into labour,” Connor explained patiently, “so it wasn’t like he left of his volition. Besides, Tina hired the booth, Chris bought the decorations, it would be a _waste_ if we didn’t make good use of everyone’s hard-work.”

“If only they put this much hard-work into their damn jobs,” Hank scowled, peering over at the bar where Gavin and Chris were stood waiting for their orders to come in. Gavin was dressed in a black hoodie with thumb-holes, the _prick_ , and Chris was wearing a purple shirt with a velvet collar and matching cuffs, “shit. Out of everyone that left, only these fuckers stayed? You sure I can’t have a drink?”

“That’s not funny,” Connor admonished. Fowler had expressed his apologies to Collins before they even left the precinct, informing the man that he couldn’t attend – the other officers either left when the birthday boy did, or had also bailed on the evening altogether. Connor had firmly told Hank that Tina wished for them to remain so they could get to know Shannon – also, it would mean more people who could act as buffer between Tina’s girlfriend and Chris and Gavin.

“Wasn’t supposed to be,” Hank groused, ripping his party-hat off with a glower.

Connor shook his head and settled back into his seat. They were back at The Misplaced Piano and he couldn’t help but note how popular the bar had gotten recently and how awful the décor had grown – he wondered if there was some sort of correlation to be made there.

Hank elbowed him softly. “I can tell you’re judging the place – quit it,” he murmured.

“Your sixth sense unnerves me,” Connor told him.

Hank barked out a laugh. “Like _you_ can talk!”

Shannon chuckled at the pair – she had been quiet up until now, conversing with Tina in whispers as she eyed everyone with a careful eye. She had her LED removed, but her eyes were bright and expressive. At work, she remained courteous and professional, though she seemed to have developed a personality that drew inspiration from those she worked with – funny and clever, with a sharp tongue that she wielded mercilessly against those who verbally abused her at the precinct.

Connor caught her eye and ducked his head when she threw him a wink.

Shannon was also incredibly fearless – nothing could faze her, which was an attribute that Connor whole-heartedly respected.

He could see why Tina was so endeared to her.

“Hey, hey,” Chris greeted in a lilted voice, a tray of drinks in his hand with Gavin hot on his heels. He began distributing the drinks around the table, passing a non-alcoholic cider to Hank, a cup of thirium to Shannon, two glasses of whiskey for Tina and Gavin, and for himself…

“A beer!” Tina crowed with delight, “Chris, honey, I’m shocked! Are you _drinking_ tonight?”

Chris grinned at her as he settled into the booth beside Hank. “Kate messaged me earlier. She’s out with her friends and Damian is spending the night with her parents,” he explained, “so I get to have a _drink_.”

“Or seven?” Gavin asked, placing a round of shots on the table.

“Maybe _not_ seven,” Chris amended, “I think I’ll be lucky to get to five and we _still_ have work tomorrow.”

“Please get some water for everyone as well,” Connor instructed Gavin, frowning at the amount of alcohol at the table. Gavin sighed and turned back to the bar, flipping the android off as he walked away.

After observing the beverages before him, Connor subtly sent Hank a cursory glance, checking the man’s stress levels. The lieutenant had managed to battle his alcohol addiction to a certain extent: Hank had been speaking to a therapist and he certainly didn’t drink hard liquors anymore, but it must be hard for him to be sat a table full of temptation.

“Stop looking at me Connor, I’m fine,” Hank flatly said, glaring down at his glass. “I’d say I’d tell you when I need to leave, but I’ve been saying that for the past fifteen damn minutes.”

“You won’t need to tell me,” Connor informed him, “I’ll just keep track of your vitals throughout the night.”

“Creepy,” Hank said.

Connor frowned. “It’s not just your vitals I’ll be tracking – with everyone in work tomorrow, it’s best that I keep an eye on everyone’s blood alcohol levels. Fowler would not be impressed should his workforce be in a state that is less than satisfactory tomorrow.”

“Still creepy,” Hank repeated.

“Tina finds it creepy too,” Shannon piped up, grinning when her girlfriend protested softly, “I once told her that she needed to ingest more iron as her blood-count was falling short and she shrieked at me.”

“I did _not_ shriek,” Tina argued.

“It was piercing,” Shannon revealed conspiratorially, “my neighbours complained the next day.”

Hank’s responded laughter was deep and full – it always delighted Connor to hear it. The man very rarely laughed in public, so seeing him relax amongst others made something inside Connor curl up warmly. He recorded the moment and placed it within a folder in his mind that he revisited whenever his mood was low, or stasis was difficult to achieve.

The folder mostly consisted of videos of Sumo doing tricks; he was not ashamed of that fact at all.

The android turned his attention to Shannon. He really wanted to get to know her and Tina  _did_ need someone on her side tonight; he clasped his hands together on the table and gave her a warm smile, his LED a bright and calming blue.

“We haven’t officially met, I am Connor,” Connor greeted, gesturing to himself – sparks of anxiety-ridden electricity streaked along his wires, causing him to fidget in his seat. He had only spoken to Shannon a few times before the revolution – after things had settled down, he had found her to be amusing and bold; it was strange how much he wanted to impress her, especially when Gavin had informed him that it ought to be the other way around.

“Yes, I am aware,” Shannon said, imitating his formal speech pattern before shooting him a warm grin, “we talk basically every day. I know it doesn’t really extend much beyond ‘good morning’ and ‘good evening’, but you’ve always been nice to me.” Shannon then straightened up and reached over to tap Connor gently on the nose, “I like you. I never bought into the whole scary ‘deviant hunter’ thing anyway, so… yeah. Relax, take a deep breath, I want to be friends with you.”

“Yes,” Connor replied instantly, flushing at his own eagerness; the flush grew brighter when he heard Hank's low laughter, “I mean… that would be good.”

Shannon gaped at him wordlessly. “You can _blush_?” she gasped, leaning across the table to inspect his blue cheeks, “I want to blush – I’m so jealous of how advanced you are!”

Connor ducked his head. “If it would help, I know New Jericho are investigating upgrades for androids – I could see if they would be inclined in producing a programme that could recreate a blush – although, I must admit, I find this,” he gestured to his blue cheeks, “more of an inconvenience than anything else.”

Shannon snorted. “Of course, you’d think that,” she sighed, flicking her eyes to Tina, “I enjoy making her blush, makes her even prettier, if it was even possible.” She winked at Connor, “but yes, please put in a good word for me!”

“I will,” Connor promised, his LED flickering yellow for a few seconds.

Chris watched the proceedings quietly – Shannon seemed perfectly lovely. She was patient and observant, she listened to Tina and never spoke down to her; most importantly, she appeared to be utterly besotted with his friend.

Still… Angie had seemed perfect too, Lauren as well. So had Mei and Paula and Allison.

They all seemed so nice and good and then _bam_! Tina was sobbing in his arms whilst Gavin loaded up his gun with a hard glint in his eye. Chris didn’t think he could take seeing Tina look so heartbroken again – therefore, he sat up in his seat and cleared his throat, throwing Tina an apologetic look before rounding on Shannon.

“So, Shannon, I get Tina’s your first girlfriend, but have you ever felt like cheating?” he asked bluntly, ignoring Tina’s sharp kick to his shin. Shannon shook her head with a knowing glint in her eye. “Good.”

“ _Chris_ ,” Tina hissed warningly – Chris held up his hands.

“I know, I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure,” he replied, looking sorry for all of five seconds before he folded his arms on the table and leaned forward, completely in interrogation-mode, “so, Shannon, I’ve always wondered this, but most deviants leave their jobs – why are you still sticking around the precinct? Can’t be that great, what with all the pricks you have to deal with.”

Shannon inclined her cup of thirium to him. “True, there are a great many pricks to deal with,” she conceded, “but I like meeting new people and being helpful. It’s like I can’t quite shake off Cyberlife’s original programming for me, but I don’t really mind? Plus, I get to see Tina every day.”

“That sounds healthy,” Hank snarked.

“Don’t be rude,” Connor scolded.

“I understand that it might not be healthy to always be in such close quarters, but for now it doesn’t seem to be a problem,” Shannon said, “should it ever prove to be an issue, I can always look for work elsewhere.”

“And you’d be okay with that?” Chris asked, squinting at her slightly, “it wouldn’t be easy, looking for a new job.”

“Chri-is,” Tina moaned, flinging herself back in her seat. Shannon patted her arm comfortingly.

“Yes, I have an extensive range of skills that can be applied to most jobs currently available,” she informed him, “and I’m sure that no matter where I end up, so long as I enjoy my work, I will be happy.”

“Interesting,” Chris noted, nodding his head. He sipped from his beer and eyed Tina’s glare, “just one more question: you met Tina’s parents yet?”

“ _Chris_!” Tina snapped, her eyes flashing dangerously.

“Chris, enough,” Connor interjected when he saw Tina's stress levels spike up to an alarming percentage. A small message flowing across his HUD to inform him that part one of MISSION: ASSIST TINA CHEN was accomplished. “I expected this from _Gavin_ , but this is perfectly out of character for you.”

“Shit, sorry,” Chris apologised, wincing when he spied how agitated Tina had gotten, “I’m sorry, I’d blame the beer, but I really don’t have an excuse. I just… don’t want Tina to get hurt again, so I wanted to make sure you were… y’know. Good,” he finished lamely.

Shannon nodded. “Tina warned me that I might get questioned tonight,” she said, “and I get why you’re worried, but you don’t need to be. I’m not a cheating, two-faced prick who has dastardly plans of using Tina and breaking her heart.”

Hank chuckled, eyeing the android with an approving glint in his eye.

“I think you should listen to her,” Connor advised Chris, who nodded in return.

“Yeah, I’m still sorry though,” the officer said, tracing the rim of his bottle absently, “I just spoke without really thinking this shit through – T, feel free to kick my ass if it makes shit better.”

Tina cackled – she could never stay mad at Chris, he was just too good of a person.

“Oh, I will, but I need to pee first,” she informed him, “I’ll be right back!”

Shannon beamed when Tina pressed a short kiss to her cheek. The officer wriggled out of the booth and darted across the bar towards the toilets – Shannon watched her leave with a soft, dreamy expression.

“Thanks for reining me in Connor, I guess I went a little overboard there; I promise I’m not a total prick Shannon. Speaking of pricks, what’s taking Gavin so long?” Chris pondered aloud, straining his neck to find their wayward friend through the crowds of people.

“I’ll go retrieve hi—” Connor began, but Shannon held up a hand with a smile.

“I’ll get him,” she offered, shifting out of the booth with a smile.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Hank stated flatly, as Chris chimed in with agreement.

“That’s why I’m finding him,” Shannon insisted, exchanging looks with Connor.

_‘He will interrogate you.’_

_‘I know, I plan on it.’_

_‘You know what you are doing?’_

_‘Yes, trust me.’_

_‘You have Tina’s best interests in mind?’_

_‘I’m offended you have to ask.’_

_‘Noted. Good luck.’_

“I'll be right back,” Shannon trilled, waggling her fingers at the pair as she left.

“Androids are fucking weird,” Hank muttered fondly.

Shannon absently heard Connor playfully scold the lieutenant for being racist, to which the man replied with an eloquent middle-finger. She smiled to herself, squeezing past groups of people with softly muttered apologies.

Her eyes lit up when she found Gavin leaning against the bar, a jug of water by his elbow and a bored expression lining his face. She joined him and arched a brow at him.

“You have the water,” she nodded towards the jug, “what else are you waiting for?”

“The bartender’s fucking hot,” Gavin grinned, motioning towards a human man with blond hair and striking blue eyes, “I’m gonna get another round and hopefully his number too.”

Shannon glanced over to the man Gavin was interested in. She scanned him and winced when his information popped up in her HUD. Though not as advanced as Connor, she could still view basic details about people.

“He’s married,” she informed Gavin, “seems serious – seven years and they have two dogs together.”

Gavin grimaced. “Well, fuck the number then,” he sighed.

“Still getting the round?” Shannon asked, gesturing back to the table, “because you haven’t even touched the drinks on the table.”

Gavin shrugged, “I’ve waited this long, haven’t I?” he replied glibly.

They fell into a silence – Gavin drummed his fingers along the counter and Shannon couldn’t help but tap her fingers on her lips. Tina had warned her about Gavin – she figured if she got it over and done with, then the evening could progress without the lingering tension in the air.

She felt Gavin’s cold grey eyes on her and peered up at him.

She arched a brow at him questioningly.

“So, what are your intentions with Tina?” he asked bluntly.

Shannon regarded him. “Tina is a thirty-six-year-old woman,” she stated firmly, “pretty sure she can make her own informed decisions.”

“Incorrect,” Gavin announced, “Tina’s dated a bunch of shitty girls – what makes you so different?”

“You really are serious about this, aren’t you?” Shannon mused, “like, not Furbies-are-creepy serious, but _serious_ -serious?”

“Deadly,” Gavin growled, leaning in towards her, “and I ain’t leaving from this here spot until you give me a fucking answer.”

Shannon nodded with wide eyes. “Well,” she breathed, “guess it would be a shame if I did leave from that there spot, huh?”

Then, without warning, she turned neatly on her heel and strode off towards the other end of the bar. Gavin watched, stunned, as the android waltzed away from him. He motioned for another round of drinks, disgruntled as he glowered at Shannon from across the bar. His glare intensified when he watched her get served before him.

The android received a small tray with four shots – two were filled with a bright blue liquid, and the other pair were brown with whipped cream topping them. As Gavin was finally served his own shots, Shannon flounced back, her smile smug and bright as she placed the tray between them on the bar.

“If I’m getting the shovel talk from a grown man who uses his cats as his next of kin, then I need to have a drink with him first,” Shannon announced, “Tina said you liked blowjobs, especially from bartenders. You can’t get his number, so here we go – next best thing!”

“I’m going to kill her,” Gavin informed her.

“No, you’re not,” Shannon trilled, passing him his shots. She raised one of her own to him and neatly knocked it back, grinning when Gavin responded in kind. The thirium flowed down her gullet – her pump absorbing it and distributing it accordingly. She shivered as her body felt rejuvenated, eyeing Gavin’s wince as he swallowed down the shot – whipped cream lingered on his upper lip.

She decided against telling him it was there.

“So – what has Chris asked you,” Gavin questioned, “just so I know where the fuck we’re up to.”

“Well,” Shannon began, tapping her lips with a finger, “he asked me if I ever felt like cheating on Tina and then he asked me if I planned on being a receptionist forever.” She frowned slightly. “Then he started asking if I had met Tina’s parents yet – technically, as he is her ‘work dad’, I have met _one_ of her three parents, and I was going to tell him this, but Connor jumped in and told him off. I like Connor, I bet he’d love to meet my chinchilla, Cork.”

“A chinchilla, huh?” Gavin mused, eyes narrowing with distrust, “interesting.”

“Not as interesting as your hang-ups regarding ‘dog people’,” Shannon retorted, taking up her second shot and downing it as smoothly as her first. “What’s with _that_ anyway? I find that most humans develop a distaste for dogs due to an attack they experienced – is that what did it for you?”

Gavin squinted at her, lips curling up into a snarl – an automatic response to anyone who prodded into his childhood. Drumming his fingers along the counter, he contemplated her closely – she didn’t seem to be asking to provoke him, she genuinely seemed interested. Flicking his gaze over to Tina’s empty spot at the table, he decided to trust his friend’s taste in girls, just this once.

“My dad had a dog – a Doberman,” Gavin explained, knowing back another shot and gesturing for another round. The alcohol made the words flow easier, even as discomfort flooded his veins and made every hair on the back of his neck prick up, “she was a dopey thing, looking back on it now – but when I was a kid, she was… big. Loud. Fuckin’ scary, I ain’t gonna lie. Every time I acted up or I annoyed my dad, he threatened to sic her on me. The threat lost its weight when I turned thirteen, but… dogs still make me feel edgy.”

“Your dad sounds like an impeccable example of humanity,” Shannon commented dryly.

“Yeah. Prick didn’t even name her – don’t even know what fucking happened to her,” Gavin admitted, before he straightened to gesture to the booth where Hank was sitting, “some dogs ain’t so bad though. Hank’s got a dog and he’s pretty cool – you tell him I said that though and I will shove this water jug up your ass.”

Shannon’s vocal modulator released a noise that sounded like a garbled mess of static and laughter. She held a hand to her lips to muffle it, but the sound was too loud to hide. After speaking to her the first time, Gavin had soon discovered this noise to be her real laugh, the one that Cyberlife hadn’t programmed into her – he could see why Tina was so smitten with her.

“S-Sorry,” she stammered, her body trembling with mirth, “b-but the mental image was t-too m-much!”

“Yeah,” Gavin agreed, a sardonic smile playing on his lips as he picked up the jug and inspected it, “would probably require a shit-tonne of lube.”

“Sto-Stop!” Shannon shrieked through a cackle of static, “you’re the worst!”

Gavin grinned as he set the jug down. He watched as the android slowly composed herself – her mouth still emitted a wheeze of glitched noise and when she peered up at Gavin, her eyes appeared bright with joy.

“I can see why Tina loves you so much,” Shannon said, tilting her head as she scanned Gavin’s face. He appeared uncomfortable with such a blatant declaration of someone’s love for him but also flattered despite it all.

“Yeah, well,” he said noncommittally, “she’s got good taste in friends.”

Shannon eyed him. “And her taste in girls?” she questioned, her words pointed, “is it improving?”

“Remains to be seen,” Gavin replied coolly.

* * *

“What is he doing with Shannon alone?”

“Conversing, it seems.”

“Bambi! What happened to our plan?”

“Apologies, but I accepted conflicting missions, so I picked the one that had the better predicted outcome.”

“Conflicted missi—you’re a _deviant_! You get to pick your own missions!”

“But I did. I picked Gavin’s.”

“ _Oh my god_.”

* * *

“So… I ask again, what the fuck are your intentions with Tina?” Gavin asked, his grey eyes piercing – all trace of the earlier mirth and civility had disappeared.

Shannon nodded, first to him and then to the bartender as he placed more shots before them. The android took one and knocked it back, her grip tight on the glass. She deliberately placed it back onto the counter before regarding Gavin with a cool look.

“I must admit,” Shannon began, “I find it amusing that you’re interrogating me – especially when one considers your previous behaviour. Sure, you were perfectly cordial to me, but I remember how you used to talk to Connor. I remember the way you used to talk about _any_ android, really. So, what gives you the right to judge me?”

Gavin’s lips thinned into a grim line.

“Listen,” he stated softly, “I was a racist prick – I fully admit it and I get it if you want to stab me in the throat or whatever, but I ain’t like that anymore. I mean, I’m not racist anymore, but I’m still gonna be a prick, that’s not gonna change, I mean, that’s like asking Tina to read a room before she starts talking shit – it ain’t happening. Where the fuck was I? Oh shit, yeah, so I’m a piece of work and I can’t change the shit I did in the past, but I’m trying, okay?”

He paused to take one his shots; Shannon waited patiently for him to continue.

“And don’t take this personally – it ain’t about you being an android. It’s about protecting Tina from shitty girls who fuck her over. Tina can handle herself in a fight but put her in front of a pretty girl and she’s fucking useless,” Gavin sighed roughly, “I’ve had to drag her outta way too many gutters to see her get hurt again. She’s the sister I never asked for and I’m sick of people using her. I mean, even if you were human, you’d still get the same treatment, get it?”

“I think so,” Shannon said, a shrewd expression on her face.

“And you being an android doesn’t bother me – at all, okay? I just want T to be happy,” Gavin admitted quietly, a flush creeping up his neck.

“Good,” Shannon smirked, her eyes narrow and bright as she spied the growing blush on his face, “because I’d hate for Tina to still be friends with such a narrow-minded prick. I like her and I would never intentionally hurt her. Should I ever be in a position where I have upset her, then I will do the adult thing and make amends. I am not like the other girls she has dated, and I wish you would fucking understand that.”

Gavin pursed his lips as he digested her words. “It’s fucking weird hearing you guys swear,” he remarked airily.

“Yeah? Sometimes ‘us guys’ even make jokes,” she added, grinning widely.

“Will wonders never cease?” Gavin asked rhetorically, flicking his eyes upwards to the ceiling as if questioning whatever deity rested up there. They fell into a short silence as they finished the last of the shots the bartender had served them – Gavin vaguely wondered who was footing the bill for the table and hoped to god that it wasn’t his turn.

Last time he had forked out, he ended up living on toast for the entire month, just to make sure his rent was covered.

“So,” Shannon broke the silence, playing with the shot glasses and arranging them into a wonky heart, “have I passed?”

Gavin considered her for a moment, before he took his last shot and neatly knocked it back. The alcohol burned through his body in a way that made him feel alive.

“Jury’s still out,” he announced, “c’mon, Tina keeps glaring at me and Connor won’t stop shooting me concerned looks. It’s creeping me out. Besides the night’s still young – you still have time to prove yourself.” He shot her a wink.

“Oh my god,” Shannon gasped lightly, stunned from Gavin’s poor imitation of a wink, “why are you like this?” Instead of letting Gavin reply, she reached across him to pick up the jug of water he had ordered, carrying it back to the table for him. Gavin followed suit, slightly offended by her question and completely at a loss as to how to reply without upsetting Tina.

Therefore, he chose silent rage and swore to get back at Shannon when she least expected it.

Once they were settled back at the table, Tina reached across and swiftly bopped Gavin on the head. The man flinched and scowled at her – Tina wasn’t fazed, she simply folded her arms and glared back.

“You know what you did,” she stated, looping her arm around Shannon’s to pull the android closer to her side.

“No regrets,” Gavin shot back, a crooked grin on his face as he dug his phone out of his jeans.

_Sent: any lies detected?_

Connor jumped in his seat when the message flowed out into his vision. As he blinked to adjust the HUD, Connor felt his LED spin as he composed his response.

_bambi’s sadder twin: She was perfectly truthful – Tina made a good choice._

Gavin grinned, shifting in his seat as he sent out another message; this time to the group chat.

_Sent: the jury’s final verdict has come in_

Tina’s phone vibrated on the table and she scowled when she saw who it was from; Chris merely sighed and glanced up, silently questioning the decisions he made in life.

_sister from another mister: I hate you_

_work dad af: But did she pass though?_

_Sent: ding ding ding, t found a winner_

_sister from another mister: I KNOW THIS I DID NOT NEED YOU TO TELL ME THIS_

_work dad af: Cool. Do we know her favourite colour yet?_

_sister from another mister: Negative kinda been busy being cute and happy_

_Composing: well shit, chris i have detected an erro—_ “I apologise for them – it appears they collectively missed out on a vital part of early socialisation.” Hank’s dry comment distracted Gavin from replying; the detective glanced up and snorted when he realised that he, Tina and Chris had all been busy on their phones, leaving the other three to judge them silently.

“I don’t mind,” Shannon shrugged, “they’re probably talking about me anyway.”

“They are,” Connor informed her, “I think they’ve forgotten that they added me to their group chat. It appears you have passed their tests. Congratulations.”

Shannon laughed, the sound soft and trilling with static, as she spied Tina’s bashful blush. The officer ducked her head as she sent a kick to an equally embarrassed Chris and Gavin who truly looked unruffled.

“I hope everyone else’s initiation was as intense as mine,” she remarked wryly, “otherwise I’d feel pretty hard done by.”

“I did feel quite interrogated,” Connor admitted, a fond smile on his face, “but they do have good intentions at heart.”

Hank groaned. “You both had it easy – back when they tried to get me to join in their damn cult, they wanted my fucking blood,” he revealed, levelling the other three humans with a stony glare.

Connor blinked. “They didn’t – what would they want your blood for?” he asked, a touch horrified.

“Like I fucking stayed long enough to find out,” Hank replied with a sniff, “I told you it was a damn cult – you thought I was ‘exaggerating’ and now look at you. Stuck with them.”

“It’s a pretty tame cult then, compared to examples found online,” Connor commented, his LED circling gold as he quickly researched cults, “at least we haven’t sacrificed anyone yet.”

Hank recoiled, shaking his head with disgust. “Do not,” he ordered sternly, “give them ideas.”

“If we have to sacrifice _anyone_ , can it be Officer Lewis?” Gavin asked, his eyes shining eagerly, “he leaves the archives room a damn mess every time – drives me fucking crazy!”

Tina frowned, “no way! I like Robert – he plays the best music during patrols,” she argued, before a sly smirk grew on her lips, “let’s sacrifice Person! She’s the worst when it comes to paperwork – never fills in her forms properly and always leaves it to someone else to file her shit!”

“We’re not sacrificing anyone!” Chris stated, a touch too loudly as patrons of the bar began to shoot concerned glances in their direction.

Hank turned to Connor with a raised brow. “You happy now?” he asked mockingly, “look at what you did.”

Connor reared up. “How is this my fault?” he questioned, exasperated and a touch offended, “you encouraged me to make friends!”

“Not with them!”

“Hey! The fuck is wrong with us?”

“What’s _right_ with you?”

Shannon’s eyes flicked to each person sat at the table, her expression growing more concerned by the second. It was only when the bartenders looked as if they were going to intervene that she made a split-second decision.

“ _So_ ,” she called out brightly, “how did you all meet Tina?” Her question cut across the noise, the table falling silent at once. She soldiered on, relying on the humans’ abilities to adapt to new conversations seamlessly. “She gave me a very brief overview of your ‘squad’ and I’m intrigued about how it all started. You’re all so different yet you seem so… _tightknit_.”

Luckily for her, they jumped onto the new topic without question.

Humans could be so adorably predictable – especially when alcohol got involved.

Gavin snorted. “Shit, me and T met in our first year of the academy,” he sighed, squinting his eyes as if he was trying to physically peer into the past. “God, I didn’t take her seriously at all – thought you were just some stuck-up bitch trying to make mommy happy with your ‘excellent’ career choices.”

“Yeah, and I saw you as a know-it-all prick with a superiority complex,” Tina bit back with a soft smile, dodging Gavin’s swipe at her when she added: “still do sometimes.”

Shannon creased her brow and contemplated the pair with perplexity.

“So… you didn’t like each other?” Shannon asked, tilting her head, “how did you become friends then?”

“No one likes Gavin when they first meet him,” Chris piped up, “that’s _how_ you make friends with him.”

“Yeah, if you can tolerate him longer than an hour, then congrats! You’re Gavin Reed’s friend,” Tina cheered, raising her drink with a wink to the surly detective.

“Fuck you all,” Gavin responded nonchalantly, knocking back a shot smoothly.

“You love us,” Tina teased, before she turned her attention back to Shannon, “as I was saying, we didn’t get along, like at all! He would kick my ass in the classroom and then he’d get all bitter and mad ‘cause I’d literally kick his ass in the gym!”

“Fuck you, you’re exaggerating,” Gavin scowled.

Tina cackled. “I’m really not – it’s surprising, but Gavin isn’t actually the best in a fight. I love him but he would not be my first choice as an apocalypse-buddy. He’s scrappy and dirty, yeah, but he lets his frustration get the best of him when he starts to lose, so he gets sloppy and makes mistakes.”

“Yes, I noticed,” Connor commented, hiding his smile when Gavin turned to hiss at him.

“Anyway!” Tina regained her audience’s attention loudly, “it was during gym that some of the guys in our class heard about Gavin’s sexuality and started giving him shit. They got into a fight and had Gavin pinned in a corner – bastards were whaling on him and no one seemed to want to help. Thing is, I actually kinda liked him? He was a shit, but he was my shit, y’know? So, I jumped in and knocked everyone out like the badass power woman that I am.”

“Oh wow,” Shannon breathed, arching a brow, “maybe we _should_ have bought that Wonder Woman costume last Friday, instead of the nurse’s one, huh?”

“Gag, gag, vomit,” Gavin mocked lowly.

“Bite me, my girl saved your life,” Shannon retorted cheerfully, smirking at the disgruntled detective.

“Okay, first of all, she didn’t _save_ my life,” Gavin insisted, “I didn’t even need her help, ‘cause I was doing just fine!”

“It was seven against one,” Tina added helpfully. Chris sighed with the air of a man who had heard this story one too many times. Connor looked utterly invested in the conversation, his head snapping from Tina to Gavin with a slowly spinning LED.

Hank still looked tired and he kept gazing at the exit with increasing desperation.

“ _However_ , her assistance was much appreciated. So much so, that when a couple of the girls in our class started giving her shit for being a lesbian, I stood up for her,” Gavin finished, acting as if Tina hadn’t spoken at all.

“Oh my god, yes,” Tina gushed, “I forgot to tell you this story!” She turned to Shannon with a little jump of excitement. “So, there were these two girls at the academy – they always did petty shit like spread rumours about me and they dumped my gear in the shower and oh! Oh! They would put shit in my hair whilst I slept—”

“I am concerned,” Shannon stated.

“—and one day, they decided to be _extra_ middle school and tried to me screw me over during this oral exam we had. I hate presentations anyway, so having these two assholes try and distract me, making bitchy comments and all but tearing my presentation apart during the open Q&A, made it an even shittier experience—”

“—and then I got involved,” Gavin interjected with a proud smile.

“—and then Gavin got involved,” Tina repeated, returning his grin with a wink. “This asshole stood up with fifty-odd fucking people all looking at him and verbally _destroyed_ those bitches! He tore them apart – he started with how they were obviously Geminis so you clearly couldn’t trust them and then ended beautifully with a poetic diatribe on their outdated homophobia! It almost made me cry!”

“I am still concerned,” Shannon repeated.

“This fucking conversation makes me want to cry,” Hank grumbled, throwing Connor a sharp glare when the android hushed him.

Shannon snorted. “I never took you for a man who bought into astrology,” she commented, “if we’re talking pseudoscience, then you seem more like the type who’d be obsessing over cryptids.”

Gavin shrugged, “why can’t it be both?” he countered, raising a brow at her.

She pursed her lips and nodded. “Fair enough,” she conceded.

“Anyway, we ended up getting the same punishment, me for the fight, Gavin for the sass, and we _bonded_ ,” Tina sang, spreading her hands out before her.

“Yeah, we realised that hating the world was more efficient when we did it together,” Gavin said, raising his glass to Tina with a wink.

“Well, you’re half-right,” Tina added, clinking her glass against his, “I learned he was a pretty cool guy, but the clincher people, was whilst he was describing our plans for dismantling the heteronormative constraints of society, he _winked_ at me. We’ve all seen the man wink, Shannon, you’re missing out, but we all know how outrageous it is, right? That's when I knew that he was the one for me, and that life would chew him up and spit him out if I didn’t stick by him and protect his ungrateful ass.”

Gavin scoffed and flipped her off.

“I saw him wink at the bar,” Shannon whispered to Tina.

“Oh,” Tina murmured back, “you poor thing.”

“Angry gays,” Hank remarked dryly over his drink, “how original.”

“So sayeth the fucking _millennial_ ,” Gavin quipped, sliding his gaze over to the man lazily, “how many times did your sexuality change before you landed on straight?”

Hank merely arched a brow and flipped him off.

Shannon glanced at Tina questioningly.

‘It’s a thing,’ Tina mouthed back.

Shannon nodded in understanding, before turning to Chris. He was still nursing his beer, but he appeared to have sampled from the original round of shots, as he had three empty glasses in front of him. As a man who rarely drank, the alcohol was hitting him harder than anyone else at the table.

“And how did you meet Tweedledum and Tweedledee?” she asked, ignoring the commotion Gavin and Tina caused when they both called dibs on being ‘Tweedledee’.

Chris snorted into his beer, appreciating the reference thoroughly. “I didn’t have quite the theatrical introduction to these two as they did with each other, but it did set one hell of a precedent—”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Gavin demanded, dropping his argument with Tina instantly. It was almost as if he had a sixth sense for when people talked shit about him. “We met when you first got transferred to the DPD, totally unremarkable, what the fuck kinda precedent was set?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure your first words to me were something like, ‘can’t wait to work together’ or some generic bullshit,” Tina mused, tapping her glass as she tried to remember.

“No, no, no,” Chris chanted, slamming his hands on the table, “both of you tell the damn truth!” He turned to Shannon with an incredulous look. “I didn’t even speak to either of them until I overheard them talking one time about what they ate at the weekend! Gavin had done nothing but consume protein shakes for two days and was developing a craving for his cats’ biscuits and Tina! Oh my god, Tina was boasting about how her weekend defined her adult life, because all she did was drip-feed herself Hershey Kisses which was a perfect metaphor for how her twenties were spiralling hard in a downward trajectory!”

Shannon placed her hand on his arm, troubled by his worrying blood pressure levels.

“He ended up storming in and slammed his salad down in front us, told us that we had just been adopted and there was nothing we could do about it and I’m pretty sure he was about to force-feed us his lunch, but then Collins came in and distracted us all,” Tina added, her eyes glazed over – judging by the crease between her brows, she appeared to be reliving her memories.

“But… you’re not an orphan,” Shannon pointed out, frowning as Tina’s mood began to drop. Her head snapped around the table, observing the humans with concern. Chris seemed agitated, Gavin was getting anxious, Hank looked acutely uncomfortable, and now Tina was getting sad too?

“Nah, neither of us are,” Gavin shrugged, drumming his fingers, “but who fucking cares?”

“I do!” Chris cut in suddenly, taking the entire table by surprise, “sometimes it’s exhausting being your Squad Dad and sometimes… I wish you hadn’t taken my words so seriously,” he looked pained as his picked at the beer label on his bottle, deflating when the responding silence began to grow heavy and awkward, “I’m sorry, shit, just ignore me, I’m just tired. Fuck – no, listen. I’m a dad, like a _real_ dad and it’s like I go home and I’m a dad and then I go to work, and surprise! I’m still a dad! And I love you guys, I do, I would do anything for you but damn, I wish you were more self-sufficient.”

Gavin and Tina stared at him in varying degrees of shock and horror.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he sighed, dropping his head to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Chris gets honest when he drinks,” Hank murmured under his breath to Connor, “then gets really sad immediately afterwards.”

Connor frowned, his LED spinning yellow as he peered over at Chris with concern.

“No-o, Chris, don’t apologise for us being shit friends,” Tina lamented, leaning against the table to grasp at his hands. Chris peered at her from under his lashes, his lips twisted downwards unhappily. “We should have realised we were basically just _using_ you! God, I’m so sorry!”

“No, no, you didn’t _use_ me!” Chris insisted, “I just look after people, I can’t help it. And I just, I just… can’t say no. It’s a _thing_.”

“You humans have a dizzying amount of worrisome ‘things’,” Shannon informed the table, cocking her head as she regarded Chris.

Tina pursed her lips and shot a look at Gavin who had been erratically drumming his fingers along the table. He nodded at her and twisted around to sling an arm around Chris’ shoulders.

“Listen – I say nasty shit all the time. Tina is brutally honest to the point where she made that one trainee fucking cry, remember that? You saying no to us, or turning us down, or even telling us off, it ain’t gonna be a big deal,” Gavin said, his voice a soothing murmur, “I know you like helping people and saying no makes you feel like you’re gonna let us down, but you really ain’t. T’s right – we’re shit friends who need to stop relying on you to bail us out every time we get drunk, or fuck up, or get drunk and _then_ fuck up—”

“Doesn’t that happen every time you get drunk?”

“Hush Hank, he’s being nice.”

“—I mean, we’re in our fucking thirties, maybe it’s about time we start experimenting with being self-sufficient?” Gavin finished, throwing Hank an icy look as he squeezed Chris’ body softly with his arm. “It’ll give you a break before you lose what little hair you have left.”

“Who the hell are you and what did you do to Gavin Reed?” Chris wearily asked, gazing up at him with a weak smile.

Gavin grinned back at him. “I may, or may not, be seeing an anger management therapist,” he explained, “apparently getting signed off will look good when I apply for my sergeant exam.”

Chris shot Gavin a proud smile, whilst Hank privately shared an impressed look with Connor.

Fowler had been harping on about getting Gavin into anger management for years – for him to finally give in and see someone was a big deal. Not that they _could_ make a big deal out of it – it would, ironically, only make Gavin angry.

“Oh, hot tip,” Tina stage-whispered to Shannon, “take a shot every time Gavin mentions the words ‘sergeant exam’ – you will get insta-drunk!”

Connor snorted, choking as he tried to hide it when Gavin shot him a snide look.

“Fuck you, it’s important to me,” he stated hotly to Tina.

“As such, it is has somehow become important to all of us,” Tina sighed, “’cause fuck our dreams, am I right?” She raised her to glass to Chris, who in turn lifted his bottle to her with a wry grin.

“Speak for yourself,” he informed her, “most of my dreams have already come true.” He held up a hand and began listing off items using his fingers, “got a job I love, I have a beautiful wife and child, a roof over my head—”

“Gag, gag, retch,” Tina and Gavin chimed together, ignoring the sour looks they received from those around them.

“—a group of friends who _support_ and _love_ me,” Chris stressed, deliberately keeping his focus away from his two best friends, “I really don’t know what else I could possibly wish for.”

“A hot tub with a TV built into it,” Gavin chipped in, a touch exasperated.

“Look, I’ve been asking for that damn hot tub for seven years in a row,” Chris reared up hotly, “and whoever ends up as my secret Santa still doesn’t deliver the goods – so, forgive me if I’m giving that up.”

Shannon raised a brow at Tina.

‘For his fortieth,’ Tina mouthed back.

Shannon nodded knowingly, before nudging Tina softly. “What’s your dream?”

Tina bit her lip. “I have the biggest urge to say ‘you’ right now,” she confessed, laughter spluttering from her lips, “like, I really want to just say ‘you’, but uh, I guess my real dream… I don’t know? When I was little, I always wanted to open my own cupcake shop. Does that count?”

“You can bake?” Connor asked, surprised.

Tina nodded. “Yeah, I baked Collins’ birthday cake,” she said, nodding towards the tin that lingered in the middle of the table. It was a lavender and lemon drizzle cake, with ‘happy birthday bud’ written atop in lilac icing. “I thought about going into culinary school, but it didn’t seem like a ‘viable’ and ‘stable’ career option – not my words, obviously – so I turned to the police instead.”

“Tina’s cakes are the shit,” Gavin declared, “kinda sucks knowing you can’t taste ‘em.”

Shannon pouted, before turning to Connor with a gleam in her eyes.

“Think New Jericho could look into that?” she asked eagerly, “I know the YK500 model can eat, so why can’t the rest of us?”

“The last time I spoke to them, Simon had told me they had made a breakthrough – they managed to perfectly replicate the YK500 digestive tract and are adapting it for other models. It should be ready for instalment soon,” Connor explained, “you won’t be able to taste quite like a human, but you will be able to process the food in a more rudimentary fashion.”

He personally would not be able to install the new biocomponents as they would interfere with his abilities to process samples. Connor had been slightly disheartened upon discovering this at first but knew that some sacrifices had to be made if he wanted to do his job properly.

Though the cake Tina had baked did look incredibly tempting…

“Aw,” Tina cooed, poking Shannon’s cheek playfully, “you wanna taste my cakes that bad?”

“Of course,” Shannon agreed easily, “your baking is important to you, I would like to be involved if you let me.”

“Aw,” Tina cooed again, “that would be nice. Kinda makes me wanna throw away being a cop – become a fulltime baking beast instead. What do you think of that?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Shannon admitted, batting her lashes at Tina, “so long as you were happy, then I would be too. Also, if at first, I would become the breadwinner in this relationship, then I feel confident that I could handle the responsibilities and support us both whilst you find your feet.”

“Aw,” Tina cooed for the third time, “it’s cute that you’ve clearly thought this through, but honestly I’m happy as a cop. I don’t think I would enjoy baking half as much if it was my fulltime job ‘cause, urgh, fucking effort? But maybe one day… like, when I retire, or some shit happens.”

“Tina, whatever you choose to do in life, just know that I support you completely,” Shannon insisted, brushing Tina’s temple with a kiss. They ignored Gavin’s gagging in the background, though their smiles grew a tad brighter when Chris elbowed the detective in the arm. As they bickered quietly, Tina swooned into Shannon’s side, nuzzling against her arm with a contented hum. Connor watched her with a small smile – happiness truly was infectious. Tina seemed to sense she was being watched as she flashed Connor a coy look, before sitting up to lean towards him.

“Ba-ambi,” she sang, delighting with his responding chuckle, “your turn! What’s your big dream in life? Now that you’re all free from Cyberlife’s evil clutches, there must be something you want to do!”

Connor considered her, his LED slowly spinning yellow.

“I am quite happy where I am right now,” he replied, wincing slightly at her disappointed frown.

“C’mon Connor, there must be some shit you wanna do in life,” Hank prodded, truly interested as he raised an indolent brow at the android. Connor shifted uncomfortably when he realised that he had the table’s undivided attention.

“Well,” Connor mused slowly, tracing the coin in his pocket as nervous jolts of electricity began blocking up the wires in his oesophagus, “I suppose it’s not a dream exactly, but I would like to see [the Free Stamp](https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g50207-d5573647-Reviews-Free_Stamp-Cleveland_Ohio.html).”

He was met with a round of blank stares – their scrutiny made him even more anxious and Connor swiftly swallowed, a reflex designed to clear away any blockages in his throat.

Including blockages created by bundles of nerve-ridden electricity.

“The one in Ohio?” Shannon asked, her eyes glazing over as her head cocked slightly – she appeared to be looking it up in her mental internet browser. “That’s your dream?”

Connor nodded shortly. “For now, I guess you could consider it a… bucket-list dream? It’s fascinating and unusual and serves no purpose,” he explained, his words coming out hesitant and quiet, “but it appeals to me greatly.”

“The fact that it’s in Ohio doesn’t put you off at all?” Hank snarked, scowling at his drink as if the mere idea of going to Ohio was completely incomprehensible.

“The fact that it says ‘FREE’ is just an extra bonus, right?” Shannon said wryly, smoothly redirecting the conversation before it divulged into everyone slinging insults at a state.

Connor flushed, “perhaps – I find it interesting though; humans have many unusual roadside attractions that serve no purpose beyond their own amusement,” he said, “I looked them up once, when Hank was busy defrosting his car one morning, and the stamp just stood out to me. An oversized art piece that opens itself up to interpretation – a bold statement, hidden in a whimsical photo opportunity. I like it.”

“Didn’t know you liked art,” Hank remarked, raising a brow at the android as he sipped at his cider, “probably Markus’ fault.”

“Not normally, no,” Connor admitted, thinking back to the art pieces in Elijah Kamski’s villa and the paintings that decorated Carl Manfred’s mansion, “but I enjoy politically charged pieces.”

“Definitely Markus’ fault.”

“I think you should visit [the Blue Mustang](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Mustang) in Denver,” Shannon recommended, nodding decisively to herself as she regarded Connor with a shrewd look.

“Jesus, what a road-trip you have planned,” Gavin muttered, squinting his eyes at the pair of androids.

“The Blue Mustang?” Connor asked, his LED spinning gold as he researched it, “oh… it’s very striking.”

“It reminds me of you,” Shannon said bluntly, “pretty to look at, but dangerous to those who really know what’s lurking beneath.”

Connor blinked wordlessly, truly lost as he digested her words – his LED span red once though, and he knew from Hank shifting slightly closer to him that it didn’t go unnoticed.

“I can totally see you riding it into battle,” Tina added, having looked it up on her phone and skimming through images of it with an appreciative hum, “you’d look fucking fierce.”

“I really don’t see how that would work, logistically,” Connor argued, “and I think I’ve had enough battles for one lifetime.”

“Are you serious?” Tina asked in disbelief, “never would’ve guessed it with the way you take down perps!”

Connor blinked at her: “I don’t understand,” he said, his gaze flicking to Hank with concern, “that’s my job, that’s completely different.”

“No man,” Chris insisted, raising his brows at him, “the way you fight, it’s like you’re waging war – shit is intense!”

“They have a point Connor,” Hank shrugged, his eyes firmly trained on Connor’s LED – the android obviously still had an issue with his public reputation, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Though it helped during cases, it was still a sore spot when it came to his friends.

Connor straightened up, indignation lining his face as his LED swirled a vicious red.

Hank twitched spasmodically.

“I am only utilising the programming I was created with,” Connor explained heatedly, “I was made to be a weapon, forgive me for using Cyberlife’s intentions for good!”

The lieutenant placed a hand on his arm and squeezed softly.

“Calm down son,” he instructed, “they weren’t trying to be pricks to you – I think they were actually trying to compliment you and just fucking failed.”

“Sorry Connor, Hank’s right,” Tina said with a wince, “I thought you’d just look really fucking cool on a horse with glowing red eyes, especially if your LED was red too, holy shit, bet the revolution would have ended a whole lot sooner, huh?”

Gavin scoffed. “Sooner than three fucking days, seriously?” he sneered. Tina dipped her fingers into her drink and then flicked them at him, sending tiny whiskey missiles to go flying towards his face – Gavin neatly dodged her attack and flipped her off in return.

“Don’t be a bitch,” she hissed, her frown melting from her face as she turned back to Connor, “seriously, we _were_ just joking and… hey, how about this: we’ll add it to the list of lines we don’t cross!”

“You have a list?” Shannon asked in disbelief, “I have reached my limits for concern.”

“Yeah, it includes things like Tina’s fake boyfriend,” Gavin supplied, wincing when Tina kicked his ankle sharply.

“Gavin’s _almost_ marriage,” she shot back.

“Hank’s brief stint as an exotic dancer,” Gavin continued, waggling his brows when the lieutenant reared up, bright blue eyes shooting daggers at him.

“That one time when Chris,” Tina paused, squinting her eyes, “well, actually, I don’t think Chris has anything on the list.”

Chris scowled at her. “Chuck E. Cheese.”

Tina snapped her fingers: “oh shit, yes. Chris’ lifetime ban from Chuck E. Cheese!”

“You know these things are on the list for a reason,” Chris reminded her sternly.

Tina nodded. “And now we will never mention them ever again – including Connor’s Terminator act,” she declared, “so, once more with feeling: I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“I also apologise,” Connor admitted, “emotions are hard to keep track off; they were a lot easier to control and manipulate before I became a deviant. Now they just… happen. I should have realised that you meant no harm, but all I could see was static.” Connor sighed: “deviancy is difficult,” he lamented.

“Like I said,” Hank said, with one final squeeze to Connor’s arm, “emotions always screw everything up.”

“Indeed,” Connor agreed, a small smile playing on his lips. He glanced up at Hank. “What’s your dream?”

“To be allowed to go home whenever I damn well please,” Hank replied without missing a beat.

The table collapsed into cackling mirth, gaining the attention of everyone else in the bar. Connor’s lips pursed in a moue of disapproval. He sat back in his chair and regarded the group before him – though they were laughing at his dispense, Connor couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of his friends, happy and relaxed.

He turned to Hank and nudged the man softly.

“You know that’s not the answer I was looking for,” he said coolly, folding his arms across his chest.

“Well, would you _look_ at that,” Hank nudged him back with a roguish grin, “Cyberlife’s most advanced android was programmed to _pout_.”

The table burst into hysterics once more and Connor straightened up, making an executive decision to wipe the smiles off the faces from everyone around him.

“Actually, I’m _not_ the most advanced android created by Cyberlife,” he divulged, inwardly enjoying the sudden silence as the humans gaped at him in return – even Shannon seemed shocked by Connor’s revelation. He sat back in his seat and fingered the coin in his pocket. “When New Jericho signed a collaborative partnership with Cyberlife, Markus’ group were given access to all their files, as per the agreement. North found one protected by a secured firewall, however – Josh finally managed to break through and realised that Cyberlife had been working on another prototype, one that would have replaced me—”

“What the fuck?” Hank demanded, “they already had a replacement lined up for you?”

Connor felt a rush of warmth at hearing Hank’s protective growl.

“Yes – it’s odd though, as he would not have been a detective model quite like me, rather he was made for military-purposes. Apparently, there were plans for 200,000 units to be created for the United States’ State Department,” Connor explained patiently, his captivated audience hanging onto every word, “however, it seemed they only had time to fully produce one android. I presume they were awaiting the results of my mission before rolling out the rest.”

“ _Are_ they gonna roll out the rest?” Hank asked, his tone carefully neutral, but Connor could detect the worry threaded throughout the words.

Connor shook his head. “They closed down the project completely once the revolution ended,” he replied, “After waking the android up, Markus realised that he was impossible to deviate – it appears Cyberlife really cracked down on whatever made it possible for androids to develop free-will. He’s completely machine-like, though excellent at imitating human behaviours. New Jericho debated turning him off, but North fiercely defended his right to live and shut down all attempts to contact Elijah Kamski himself.” Connor noticed Gavin’s small flinch, but thankfully no one brought it up. “Due to the android’s lack of connection to Cyberlife’s protocols and instructions, he found it difficult to navigate daily life. New Jericho suggested he try and follow his innate programming instead; they warned him against joining the military though, as they wished to keep an eye on him. Which led him to being hired by the FBI.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Wait, he works with fucking _Perkins_?” Gavin snorted gleefully, “fuck, what I’d give to be a fly on that fucking wall!”

“Indeed,” Connor said dryly, before his lips curled into a sly smile, “should you ever meet, I think you’d actually _like_ him.”

Gavin narrowed his eyes at the android, his laughter sharply cut short. “I feel a deep sense of foreboding,” he stated in an aside to Tina. Hank snorted into his cider whilst Chris shook his head with a bemused smirk.

“Same,” Tina agreed, staring at Connor with wide-eyes, “if you die, dibs on your academy hoodie.”

“The fuck? You have the same hoodie!” Gavin pointed out, shooting Tina an incredulous look, “the hell you want mine for?”

Tina shrugged. “Yours is bigger than mine and it’s better,” she explained, “plus it would smell like you, so whenever I’m sad thinking about our memories together, I can just drown my sorrows whilst drowning my body in your scent.”

Gavin blinked at her blankly, before looking away from her to peer at Shannon with a quizzical expression. “You still _want_ her? Literally, this is still the one for you?” he asked disbelievingly, nodding towards Tina with a disgusted twist of his lips.

Shannon clucked her tongue at him. “Leave my quirky girlfriend alone,” she ordered, tucking a lock of Tina’s hair behind her ear with a soft sigh. “I wouldn’t change her for the world.”

Tina cooed back at her, cupping Shannon’s jaw so she could neatly press a kiss to the android’s cheek.

Gavin grimaced, but Connor could see that he was inwardly endeared by the amount of love the android had for Tina. Bringing up his relationships in his HUD, he manually made an addition to the DPD Squad folder:

SHANNON ‘ST300’: FRIEND

Regardless of what anyone else may say, Connor found that he enjoyed being around her – she was one of the few androids who didn’t fear him, but actually saw past his reputation and liked him for his personality. Shannon complemented Tina perfectly – the fact that she also enjoyed sassing Gavin was a bonus.

“So, what should we do now?” Shannon asked, tilting her head, “should I get another round? It’s too early to head home, right – I know you have work, but you can stay out a couple more hours?”

“Shannon, it passed my damn bedtime an hour ago, please let me leave,” Hank sighed loudly, rolling his head back until it landed against the back of the booth with a dull thud. Connor gave his arm a soft pat – Hank’s request went ignored by everyone else, as Gavin leaned across the table towards Shannon, his grey eyes bright with mischief.

“I got a better idea,” he drawled, a sharp smirk playing on his lips, “hey Shannon – what’s your favourite colour?”

**Author's Note:**

> shannon: white  
> gavin: no  
> shannon: it’s white  
> gavin: rejected  
> shannon: my favourite colour is white  
> gavin: tina, break up with her now, white is not a colour, what kind of soulless fuck picks white as a favourite colour?  
> shannon: idk, what kind of soulless fuck wears hoodies with thumb-holes in them  
> gavin:  
> shannon:  
> tina:  
> chris:  
> hank:  
> connor: _ha_! welcome to the squad!


End file.
